What is God like anyway?
What a question, right? I can tell you what I know about Him. I learned it as I walked through life.
My first picture of God
I thought God was stern, uncaring and somewhere far, far away. My picture of God was not very flattering for much of my life. I didn't mean to see Him as someone authoritative, punishing, distant, unconcerned, and someone to be feared. After all if I wasn't a good girl I would go straight to hell, right? I wasn't perfect so you know where that left me. In a very fearful place. It's hard to be good enough when your best isn't...well, good enough.
The mess on my set
As I grew older I still loved God but kept Him at arms distance. Now I look back and think how patient He was and how He drew me to Himself through my life. He didn't change but my perception of Him did. As I went through life, the things I thought would never change, often did. My dreams crumbled but the reality of His love showed up more and more. It was as though my vision progressively improved. Imagine it like the scene in a movie when the mists clear and the main character finally sees the way out of the mess on their set.
As my own personal mist cleared, I began to see that God loves sacrificially, is Holy, He does not lie, He never leaves me, He is faithful, kind, patient, gracious, compassionate, knows everything, and is everywhere. With God I am secure, I am valuable, and He is my comfort
It became a personal walk motivated from my pain
I would love to convince you of all these things but if you are like me, it will come in relationship with Him. When I first began to learn about Him, I literally had to look up the word "trust." I didn't know how to study the Bible. I loved to read but when I tried to read the Bible, I woke up the next morning and it was on the floor by my bed. But when my life began to fall apart, I was really motivated to read my Bible. The pain in my heart drove me to try to find comfort so I began to read and learn the life stories of the people in the Bible. I found those people to be very real and un-perfect like me.
Motivated from Love
Over the years I came to see His character and longed to know Him better just for Him. I wish I could tell you that I am now solely motivated by love to get to know God better. The truth is, I still seek Him most when I am hurting. I value my relationship with Him but life gets my focus off of Him sometimes. God knows my heart because He knows everything. I can be myself with Him and know that I will never disappoint Him. I honor Him and love Him with great respect as the God of the universe but I am confident that even when I expose my worst self, He loves me unconditionally.
What is God like to me now?
God isn't distant to me anymore and I am not afraid of Him. He loves me unconditionally and I am resting in His love. I come to love Him more each day. Dear Reader if you know God as your Heavenly Father, you may have a crooked growth chart like mine but if you don't know Him, today is a good day to talk with Him and read about His love for you in His Word, the Bible.