The older I get the more I am thankful for the little things...and the medium sized things...and the big things. All things have become big things really because I see them differently. Or perhaps I really see them for the first time. All things are not the means to the end that I was racing toward. The goals I set for myself. Good goals but goals that got in the way of the moment of clarity that would best be lived as a way of life.
In years past I took so much for granted in the rush of life. Or perhaps I was just rushing through life not really thinking of the wonder around me. Not that I was completely oblivious. I Thanked God here and there in the rush and certainly went through the motions at the appropriate times. Now I am older. Now I am slower and don't rush as well as I used to. The rush of life is slower but the pace of my thankfulness has picked up.
What happened? My moments of clarity came over the years when I saw that my hopes and dreams were misplaced. I raced around this world trying to make what I thought should happen become reality. Many of the dreams of my life have crashed around me so many times that what I once focused on as the finish line has changed. Life is wonderful but at times it will disappoint you. Have you found that out yet?
The dreams of my girlhood were the cherished dreams held close to my heart as a bright light of hope for the future. My inner little girl took them into adulthood with her. But now I have dreams of a grown woman. In the crash of my life's dreams I found the love of God. It was worth the less to get to the best. Now the truly bright light of my hope is focused on Him. It is a far more real hope than I once had. He never leaves me or forsakes me. He does not disappointment me and there is such joy in relationship with Him. Now I can splash in the puddles of life joyfully and with a deep inner thankfulness. All the wonder of this world is not the ultimate reality. My hope is in the one who never changes, is not capable of lying and loves me like a cherished daughter. Security, acceptance and significance are found in the relationship with my heavenly Father.
I am through rushing. I go slower now and instead of looking at my feet and where they will go, I look up and in. The quietness of soul is so much better than the rush of years gone by. I used to see older women sitting in rockers with serene smiles on their faces. I felt sorry for them. Their life was almost over. Now I see them differently. Occasionally I do sit in my rocker but even though it's getting better, I don't have the serene look yet. And yet, it's getting quieter inside me. My focus is now more up and in. I plan to make time to be still and get quieter more often.
I am more thankful now. I am very thankful for the moments of clarity. In their sadness they brought great joy and the realization that heaven is my real home. All the things of this world are not really worth rushing after. He is though. I look forward to someday sitting in a rocker with a serene look on my face as I enjoy my time with my Prince. My Prince of Peace. Just rocking and waiting for the day He comes to take me home to the home that is eternal and really real.